The Meatmen - War Of The Superbikes - Cassette
Brand new, never played and still sealed in the factory plastic seal
LSR Records 1985
Original Pushead Cover

With Tesco Vee's Dutch Hercules proving that chugging biker metal, parodic or not, was arguably a better platform for his intentionally over-the-top attitudes toward uncoolness (i.e., anything not Tesco Vee), War of the Superbikes turned out to be the icing on the cake. If Dutch Hercules' "Wine, Wenches and Wheels" was arena rock satire to the nth degree, War of the Superbikes blurred the line even more, with not one but two Minor Threat refugees -- Lyle Preslar and Brian Baker -- embarrassing themselves with what one hopes was knowing rather than unconscious meta-metal wankery on their part. Certainly nothing else could explain the likes of the Iron Maiden sex fantasy "Pillar of Sodom" and the jaw-droppingly over-the-top flamenco pornography of "Kisses in the Sunset." That said, there's a fair amount of stuff that could easily have fit on some of the early Meatmen stuff, but in its own weird way the role model is less Meatmen and more Meat Loaf, if on much less of a budget. The title track is one of the best things on here, in a comparative sense at least -- the ridiculous lyrics rival films like Streets of Fire for narrative coherence, and Vee certainly sounds like he's having plenty of fun setting himself up as the equivalent of the Anti-Nowhere League's Animal. Meanwhile, calling a song "Abba, God and Me" -- while not trashing either Abba or God in the lyrics -- has to count as a first for Vee. The schizoid nature of the album can best be noted with the two covers on the release -- the Pagans' proto-punk rampage "What's This Shit Called Love" (complete with fake country start on Elvis' "Love Me Tender") and Nazareth's whiskey-soaked boogie "Razamanaz." Ridiculous highlight -- the goony DJ rap at the start of "Punker-Ama," at once juvenile and just plain hilarious.

Track Listing
1. War of the Superbikes
2. ABBA, God and Me
3. Pillar of Sodom
4. What's This S*it Called Love?
5. Punker-Ama
6. Razamanaz
7. Kisses in the Sunset
8. Cadaver Class
9. Pain Principal